the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
