the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
