anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
