There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
