he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
