so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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