Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
