For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
