Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize