Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
