They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
