She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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