So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
