I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
