He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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