That's intense
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
last night I used snow as a chaser
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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