Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
