That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize