He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
