We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
