i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
