Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
