oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
