been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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