why do cheetos always look like penises
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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