Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
