He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
