I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
