bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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