ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She announced her abortion via fbk
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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