Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
