I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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