She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
