We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
