On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
