I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
