We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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