i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize