all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
