I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize