the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
