he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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