I showed him my bush... on skype.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i drank out of a bidet.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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