I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
