Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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