Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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