This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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