Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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