He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
