He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
