There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
