the condom got lost in my hair
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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