But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
