Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
