Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize