i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
