The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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