White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
wow bdsm is so cute
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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