she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
