YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my shit smells like andre
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
