All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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